Garden of Heaven
by LuisaRay
Summary: He had read all the books. He thought he was prepared. Alan's first moments of fatherhood aren't how he expected them to be.


**Thanks to everyone reading! I've still got an ongoing story I've almost finished, but not 100% happy with it yet. Also got a plagiarism issue with it but hopefully it's resolved soon, thank you to all that have come to my aid! You're a lovely bunch!**

 **I hope you like this in the meantime, wrote it a while ago. Please leave a review x**

 **Rated T for description of childbirth.**

* * *

It was only a few weeks until Baby Tracy was due to arrive. Alan had never heard of the term 'babymoon' before until Grandma suggested it, but didn't need an excuse to take his wife away on a break. Anyway, he was not going back to Five for a long time.

He rented a coastal cottage by the beach to give them one last week alone. The morning after they arrived, Alan came downstairs to find Tin-Tin admiring the sea view from the little kitchen. The sun was shining as she sipped on a mug of raspberry leaf tea. She rested a hand on top of her bump, which was stretching the fabric of her night gown. She turned to smile at him, her thick black hair framing her big, dark eyes. She looked the perfect picture of a glowing Mom-to-be.

Alan embraced her, stroking a hand gently over her belly. She gave a little sigh against his chest.

"Everything alright with you two?"

"I think so," said Tin Tin softly, "I'm getting more tightenings, though."

"Really? Should we call Rachael?"

"No, there's no need. They're normal. They just feel very strange. He's still moving in there. Well, as much as he normally moves."

Alan quirked an eyebrow. "So... not much, then?"

Tin-Tin shook her head, chuckling. They had made plenty of jokes about how laid back this baby was, so much he barely even kicked. Alan thought he had felt a foot brush his hand once, but he wasn't sure.

"He's mellow, like his Mommy," Alan grinned.

They didn't know the gender for sure as they wanted a surprise, but used 'he' as the default pronoun. It seemed much more polite than 'it'. Both of them felt early on that Tin Tin was expecting a little girl. There was still a high chance that a boy could come out, keeping the females on the island outnumbered.

Tin-Tin turned to give Alan a kiss, her lips warm and sweet from the tea.

"Breakfast?" Alan asked.

"Hmm... Not yet."

Alan raised his eyebrows in surprise. Since she hit thirty weeks pregnant, Tin-Tin had been waking up with the appetite of a teenage boy. She only had a few weeks to go now. Something was definitely not right, but he hid his concern with a smile. He dreaded to think how much he would worry about this baby, when he came.

"Perhaps I'll run a bath," said Tin-Tin, "I might be hungry later."

"Sure, I'll rustle something up for you."

"You're such a sweetheart," she planted a kiss on his cheek and squeezed past him.

Alan smiled after her, watching her slowly trudge up the stairs. He heard her running the bath as he fetched some butter, eggs and chives from the fridge. Tin-Tin's two main cravings were for eggs and cheese, although she was reluctant to indulge in them. Her husband knew her well enough to know she could never refuse some eggs a la Alan.

The pregnancy had happened the first month they started trying. Alan found out while up in Five. He couldn't blame Tin-Tin for wanting to share her news straightaway - there were no secrets on the island. The rush of warmth in his chest along with the sounds of his brother's excited cheers through the radio was a memory he would always cherish.

In the early stages, Tin Tin had a few long weeks of evening sickness (why they called it morning sickness, Alan would never know) which ran over Christmas time. Alan also found out the hard way that 'morning sickness' was not just limited to the expecting mother. Over those few weeks, he couldn't even touch his breakfast, knowing he would throw it all up again half an hour later. By lunch time, the nausea would pass. Grandma assured him it was fine, it just happened sometimes. His brothers weren't so sympathetic and teased him relentlessly about it... He was silently banking all the insults for when their turn came.

They had made arrangements for Tin-Tin to give birth on the island. This was mainly possible thanks to Gordon's wife, Rachael. She was officially trained as a nurse, but had spent the past few years working alongside midwives on a maternity ward before moving to Tracy Island. She and Tin Tin got on well and Alan trusted her. Jeff, for his own peace of mind, arranged for Tin Tin to visit a specialist. After a few scans and tests, the doctor assured him that the pregnancy was going well and there was no reason why Tin Tin couldn't have a home birth.

Alan stopped preparing breakfast when he noticed the sound of the running water abruptly cessing. Then he heard a sigh.

"Alan?"

Tin-Tin. Something in her tone had him bolting up the stairs, as if he had heard an emergency siren. He reached the top of the stairs in a few seconds, his heartbeat pounding in his throat.

"Alan..." Her voice came from the bathroom.

"Tin-Tin? Let me in. What's wrong?"

"Wait... Don't panic..." Her voice was calm but quiet, "I'm bleeding."

Alan panicked.

* * *

By the time Alan had packed their bags and put in the boot of the car, Tin-Tin was doubling over in pain. He knew instantly this was not a time for calling base and arranging flights. His wife needed a hospital immediately. A quick search on his cell phone informed him one was a forty minute drive away. He could make it in twenty.

He went into rescue autopilot, talking reassuringly to Tin-Tin as he helped her get strapped into the passenger seat. Tin-Tin's eyes were closed as she breathed through the pain.

"That's it, honey," he said soothingly, as he got into the driver's seat and started the car, "Breathe just like that. Is it contractions?"

"I... I don't know," said Tin-Tin, her voice tight with fear, "Contractions are... Meant to come and go... But this just... It won't stop..."

"Alright, Tin-Tin, alright," said Alan, putting his foot down on the accelerator, "I'm getting you to the hospital. You relax, concentrate on your breathing. You'll be fine."

He made it to the hospital in twenty minutes. He would've won first place if it had been a race. Luckily Tin-Tin was too distracted to comment on his speed. As he helped her out of the car, she gasped as her there was a gushing noise.

"Alan, my waters!" she cried in dismay and groaned as her pain intensified. Alan rushed to the hospital entrance and fetched her a wheelchair.

"Hop on. Let's get you inside."

Tin-Tin, barely able to move, decided to kneel backwards on the wheelchair. Her knuckles were white as she gripped the back of the chair, her hair hanging over her face as she moaned and gasped.

Alan dragged the wheelchair backwards, his back soaking with sweat and his body surging with adrenaline. As he made it to the main reception, he barked "Which way's Maternity?" at the startled receptionist.

The receptionist leapt to her feet at the sight of them both. "Don't worry, I'll get someone to take you there."

She called for a midwife, who promptly arrived in reception, dressed in dark blue scrubs. She greeted them with a warm smile, which only made Alan's blood boil. She didn't deserve it, but he was petrified.

"My name's Lorraine," she said cheerfully. She was short, with a kind face, her curly brown hair in a tight bun. She peered past Alan at Tin-Tin, quickly assessing the situation.

"Ok, so when did the pains start, Dad?" she asked, as she strode past Alan to grab the wheelchair and pull it along. Alan followed after her automatically, his legs feeling wobbly all of a sudden. He filled her in as they took the elevator and a few long corridors up to Maternity.

Lorraine soon had them in their own little room on the labor ward. It was equipped with a bed and vitals monitor, along with it's own bathroom. She helped Tin-Tin into a hospital gown and settled her onto the bed. Tin-Tin didn't, couldn't, speak the whole time. Alan paced, hating to see her in so much pain. Lorraine showed no signs of alarm as she strapped monitors around Tin-Tin's belly.

"Let's see how baby's doing in there," she said softly. She handed Tin-Tin a blue mouthpiece, attached to a tube that disappeared into the wall, "Here you are, darling. Breathe on this."

"What is it?" asked Alan.

"Entonox," said Lorraine.

"Laughing gas?" said Alan, surprised. He had never heard of that being used for labor before.

Tin-Tin immediately grabbed the mouthpiece and took big puffs from it, moaning through each exhale. Alan watched as the muscles on her face began to relax and her breathing slowed. Eventually she loosened her grip on the mouthpiece, letting it fall onto her chest.

"Good stuff, isn't it?" smiled Lorraine.

Tin-Tin gave a relieved nod, but then started sucking on the mouthpiece with a groan of exasperation as her pain picked up again.

"Hmm... It looks like she's having some huge contractions, one on top of the other," observed Lorraine as the monitors printed off readings, "Baby's looking good, though. How far along are you?"

Tin-Tin was too busy trying to get the pain relief to kick in to reply.

"Thirty seven weeks and one day," Alan responded for her.

"Ah, well... It looks like this baby is coming a little early," said Lorraine, "Can I feel your tummy, Tin-Tin?"

She palpated Tin-Tin's belly, trying to find the baby's position.

"There's his little butt," muttered Lorraine, "The head is definitely down... That's good... Sorry, Dad, I never asked your name?"

"It's Alan," he answered, as he watched Lorraine work with fascination.

"It'll be ok, Alan. Like I said, baby's looking good. But you'll wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that. I reckon you've got plenty of time to get your stuff, or call your family? I'll look after Tin-Tin. I'm waiting for a doctor to come and take a look at her."

Alan rubbed the back of his neck, conflicted. Tin-Tin was watching him, puffing on her mouthpiece and her face sweaty. He went over to her and kissed her forehead.

"Will you be ok if I get the bags?"

Tin-Tin, bless her, nodded bravely.

"Be quick," she mumbled around the mouthpiece.

* * *

Alan left the room and rushed to the car, determined to be back as quick as he could. He sat in the driver's seat and looked around before pressing a button on his watch. His father's face appeared there.

"Hello, son. How's the... Wait. What is it? What's the matter?"

Alan took a few deep breaths to calm himself before speaking. His heart was still pounding like a drum.

"Father, you won't believe what's happened..."

* * *

When Alan returned to labor ward, he felt a wave of guilt as he heard Tin-Tin's cries coming down the corridor. He practically ran into the room, as fast as the heavy bags would allow, before dumping them into the corner of the room. Tin-Tin was leaning over the bed, head lowered, swaying and writhing with pain. Lorraine had a comforting hand on her back and was looking at the monitors with concern.

"What is it?" Alan blurted, heading over to grab Tin-Tin's hands. To his surprise, she shoved them away, continuing her rocking movements. He looked up at Lorraine who gave him an empathetic smile.

"Don't take it personally, she's a trouper. Those are some walloping contractions she's having. Baby's oxygen levels are starting to drop, so we need to start thinking about..."

Suddenly, Tin-Tin went still and stood, catching her breath. She looked into Alan's eyes, her first moment of clarity since the pain started.

"I'm so sorry," she said to him, her voice shaky, "I just wasn't getting a break. It was so painful. I think it's stopped now..."

She groaned and her eyes widened.

"I want to push."

Lorraine instructed Tin-Tin to lay on her back on the bed. No sooner had she done so, Tin-Tin hooked her hands under her thighs to lift them as she pushed. Alan wrapped his shaking hands around her shoulders, not able to comprehend what was happening. Lorraine donned her gloves and buzzed for the doctor. She didn't need to bother checking Tin-Tin's progress, as the top of the baby's head was already starting to emerge.

"You're going to meet your baby soon," she said happily, "Just do what you're doing, Tin-Tin."

Alan had never felt so much love for his wife as he watched her bring his baby into the world. She was like a warrior. A goddess. A doctor came into the room just in time. Two contractions later the baby's head emerged, followed by the shoulders, then...

"It's a girl!" the doctor said triumphantly as he placed their baby, slimy and purple, on Tin-Tin's belly. The baby's dark eyes were wide open, her skinny arms stretched out as Lorraine stepped in to rub her down with a towel.

"Oh, my baby... My baby..." Tin-Tin whispered, stunned.

"Happy Birthday, little one. Come on, give us a cry..." said Lorraine.

When no cry was forthcoming, Alan was ordered to immediately cut the cord. He could only watch as Lorraine scooped up their tiny, silent daughter and whisked her out of the room.

"Go with her!" Tin-Tin cried desperately.

Alan ran after them, feeling numb. He found the resucitation room quickly, following the bustling noise. Then he heard a shrill cry, a sound that imprinted in his brain and made his heart swell with relief. He popped his head around the corner to see his daughter on a cot, a few nurses scuttling around her. Lorraine was holding a tiny oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. Alan noticed the baby was already turning a good shade of pink.

"There we go," said Lorraine reassuringly, "She just needed a little help."

* * *

Their daughter was soon breathing unaided, but the doctors decided it would be best to take her to the Special Care Baby Unit for observation. They were worried she would get tired and need help breathing later on.

Alan held Tin-Tin as she sobbed at the news, just wanting to hold her baby and be with her. He took her to the maternity ward, which she cruelly had to share with a few other mothers that all had their babies with them. Tin-Tin agreed to try and sleep, but only if Alan would sit beside their daughter in Special Care. If their baby made even the slightest noise, Alan was to send for her.

He felt exhausted from the ordeal himself, but pushed it aside, taking his promise to Tin-Tin to heart. When he got to the baby unit, he was led to an incubator by the window. There was an orange label on it, reading -

Name - Janna Tracy

DOB - 06/28/2069

Weight - 5lbs 14ozs

Janna. It meant Garden of Heaven.

His tiny girl was lying on her front on a flat cushion, fast asleep, her limbs curled up under her as if she were still in the womb. She wore only a diaper that was too big for her. Her dark hair was bloody and matted from the birth. The doctors had put a glucose drip in her arm, taped there with a splint. It looked like such a large and vicious thing to be stuck in such a tiny baby's arm. Alan felt helpless as he sat watching her sleep behind the plastic wall, wanting to just grab her and take her away. This was not the beginning they had wanted for their firstborn. Not even close.

After a few hours, when Janna didn't stir from her deep sleep, Alan went to check on his wife. Tin-Tin too was fast asleep in her bed, he was relieved to see. Thinking he might as well get some shut eye himself, Alan remembered he had nowhere to go. He settled for a few chairs lined up against the hospital corridor. He lay across them, folding up his jacket to put under his head as a pillow.

* * *

"Hey, Daddy. Time to get up. Lord knows you'll get plenty of time to sleep later."

Alan bolted upright at the familiar voice. Scott was looking down at him, a huge smile plastered on his face. He leaned down to help Alan stand up, his body aching from the uncomfortable chairs. Then, in an act that was very out of character, Scott pulled his little brother into a hug. Alan let out a breath and closed his eyes, grateful for the contact.

"I'm so glad to see you," he said tiredly, the words muffled against Scott's shoulder. Hugging was something they rarely did nowadays, not since they were children.

"I wouldn't miss this for anything," Scott mumbled against his ear. When he leaned away, Alan noticed he hadn't shaved or even styled his hair. That meant he had literally hopped in the plane as soon as he heard that Tin-Tin was in labor. Alan was touched that his big brother was still looking out for him.

"You look exhausted. How's Tin-Tin?"

"She's... Resting," said Alan, remembering how distraught she was the last time he saw her.

"You mean she's had the baby? Already?" Scott cried, "Are they ok?"

"Sort of, I mean," Alan shrugged, unable to hide the sadness in his voice, "It all happened too fast. The baby was a bit shocked and ended up in an incubator. Now Tin-Tin's on the ward her own. I couldn't do anything to help either of them..."

Scott listened, his face growing solemn. He put a hand on Alan's shoulder and squeezed, "Gee, kiddo. That's rough. Not what either of you planned, huh?"

Alan laughed humourlessly. "They say never to make a birth plan, after all."

"As for helping them, you've got to remember there's not much anyone can do. A baby will arrive when he chooses. I guess the main thing is that they're both ok," said Scott, "So... Is it a boy or girl?"

"It's a girl," said Alan, a grin appearing on his face. He would never get tired of saying those words.

Scott laughed, punching a fist into his palm, "Ah! Should've known!"

Alan knew that response, "How much did you bet on a boy?"

Scott winced. "Too much. It's Uncle Virgil's lucky day... He's the only one that put money on a girl. Even Grandma guessed boy. Can I see her?"

Alan checked his watch and gasped at the time, "I've been asleep for too long. Um... It's not visiting hours for Special Care, but I have to go to see Tin-Tin. Come on, she's on Birch Ward..."

When they made it to the correct room and found Tin-Tin's bed, both men froze at the sight presented to them. Tin-Tin was sitting upright, her hair tied up in a ponytail and her shirt open, smiling down into her arms where Janna was happily nursing. Her little body was pressed up against Tin-Tin's belly, one tiny arm resting over her face.

"Wow..." breathed Scott, "That's got to be one of the loveliest sights I've ever seen."

Tin-Tin lifted her head and grinned at them both, moving a blanket to try and make herself more modest. Scott shook his head at her.

"No, Tin-Tin, you carry on. No need to cover up on my account," he said softly as he approached the bed. Alan had finally recovered from his shock.

"Why didn't you tell me she was out of the unit?" he whispered sternly, his face betraying his delight.

"I wanted to surprise you," said Tin-Tin. She still looked tired but Alan was relieved to see her looking so happy, "She had no breathing problems so they brought her back to me. Scott, this is Janna."

"Janna. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. I don't know how you do it, Tin-Tin. You've just given birth and you look like an angel." Scott leaned down to kiss the top of her head and pulled over a plastic chair to sit at the end of her bed. There was a more comfy looking chair by the window that Alan sat in.

"I certainly don't feel like one," sighed Tin-Tin, "I'm waiting for a blood transfusion."

"Hmm, I was thinking you were losing a lot of blood," said Alan, "I didn't want to say at the time."

Tin-Tin lifted her free hand to stroke his cheek. "I'm glad you didn't. You were a wonderful birthing partner."

Alan felt she must be lying through her teeth. He watched in silence as Tin-Tin finished feeding Janna, placing her in her lap as she buttoned up her top. She then picked her up and planted gentle kisses all over her tiny face.

"I think your Daddy's waited too long for his first cuddle," Tin-Tin cooed at her.

Alan felt his face drop with anxiety. He'd never held a baby before. He saw Scott smirking at him from across the bed, "Oh, Tin-Tin, I... I don't think..."

Tin-Tin cut him off with a look. "Relax, Alan, she's your baby."

"But... She's so small."

Tin-Tin put Janna upright against her shoulder and stood, rhythmically patting her tiny butt, "She's not made of glass, I promise."

Alan, still on his chair, started to raise his arms to take Janna but Tin-Tin leaned back abruptly.

"Hold on," she said, "Take your top off."

"What?" said Alan, confused.

"I mean it. Take your top off. Skin-to-skin is good for new babies."

"If you say so..." Alan sighed as he dragged his t-shirt off, ignoring Scott's wolf whistle, "Shouldn't I shower first? I probably stink."

"Nonsense," sighed Tin-Tin, swiftly and delicately transferring Janna from her shoulder to Alan's chest, so they were tummy to tummy. Alan tensed, instinctively cradling protective hands over Janna's head and back. He was startled at how warm she was and the strength in her skinny legs as she bucked them. Tin-Tin smiled down at him as she tucked a pink cotton blanket over them both.

"There you go. Lean back, sweetheart."

Alan obeyed, letting out the breath he had been holding. He couldn't take his eyes off his daughter. The black hair beneath his fingers was soft and smelled as delicious as fresh bread. Janna half-opened her dark eyes curiously and nuzzled into his chest, splaying her arms wide over him. It was like she was giving him a hug. Alan sniffed, caught in a wave of emotion he was completely unprepared for.

"Aww, Alan..." whispered Tin-Tin.

Alan looked up at Scott, embarrassed and bracing himself for mockery. He was relieved to see that Scott looked like he was going to do no such thing.

"I've got to say, fatherhood looks really good on you," his big brother said proudly.

Alan chuckled, brushing away tears with his fingers.

 _Now he felt like a Dad._


End file.
